Back to Life
by Highnessness
Summary: AU, which is all of my stuff. H/L. What brings someone back to life after being on the edge for so long?
1. Chapter 1

The gangway lowered and hooded figure with arms crossed walked down. It was surrounded by Alliance guards. It seemed very much out of the ordinary because all other motion stopped. All workers seemed in a trance to the new presence coming into the hanger.

The base doors opened to a man. More specifically a General intent on meeting their newest arrival. His long stride met the group halfway in the hanger.

"Men," he nodded to the group. "You are dismissed."

"But sir…." the commander of the group said.

A pair of hands appeared, dropping handcuffs onto the ground. The group immediately trained blasters on the black figure. But the figure made no movement towards defensive action.

"I said dismissed."

None of the men moved or turned their blasters away. All continued trained on the hooded presence.

The hands moved the hood back. "It's ok, General. They don't really trust me."

The hood fell back across the figure's shoulders. The General's blue eyes scanned the face, finding stun collar marks at the throat, a bloody lip and a black eye.

"I gave them a pretty good fight. Had to make it realistic ya, know?"

Blue eyes met brown for the first time in years.

"Leia."

She smiled, as she unhooked the robe, dropping it next to the handcuffs.

"Yea."

He moved into hug his former friend, but she stepped back. Hurt crossed his features. He realized then she had hardened in the time away. She was no longer the person he may have thought she was, not with her outfit torn and bloody, looking like a single survivor of mission gone horribly wrong.

The hanger had grown silent. The Princess, who had been thought lost or dead, was back. Alive, but beaten. Surving, but maybe not living.


	2. Chapter 2

She moved towards the exit.

"You really should be looked at by medical," he said, as he trailed behind.

"I'm fine."

"You have…."

She turned towards him, anger crossing her one good eye. "I was pulled from my post. I was pulled from my work. By YOU."

"You were getting in over your head."

"Ha."

She turned again towards the exit. He grabbed her wrist and she hissed. Only then did he realize she had stun marks on them as well.

"Look what happened this time you got caught."

"This….." she motioned to herself, "this was personal. This was an Imperial General trying to get his jollies because I slipped through his hands too many times."

"You were getting to dangerous."

She shook her head before turning again. This time running straight into someone else, stumbling backwards. "Look where you are krething going!"

Hazel met brown. "Leia?"

She pushed past him. "Give me a job, Rieekan, and it better not be training anyone to do what I do."

* * *

She didn't know where she was going. She didn't have a room or a bed here. Hell, she hadn't been around this many people in …. three years.

And she felt them. All looking at her, but not really seeing her.

She looked at the face in the mirror. All she saw was her bald head, a punishment from the Imperial General for not giving him the information he wanted. She remembered the pain from the electracution in the water tube. She could remember not screaming.

He couldn't break her. Not this time. Not the time before. Or before that.

She would have to brief on it, she knew that.

Her slim fingers touched the bruised eye. A brash decision by her captor in frustration just like her lip.

The woman in the mirror wasn't the girl the people used to know. No, that girl was gone. Replaced by the woman in the mirror. Hardened. Broken. Surviving.


	3. Chapter 3

I apologize that this hasn't been updated more. Life slapped me in the face. Onwards and upwards though.

* * *

"Solo," the older General said to the other.

The other preoccupied with the previous person who had collided with him. Watching her walk with a strong and steady stride.

"That was…."

"Yes, it was."

"She was thought dead," Solo said aloud.

"That she was to all but who knew where she was."

Solo's head snapped back to the General in front of him.

"Knew where she was?"

"Sorry, Solo, all your questions from this point on are above your security clearance."

The older General walked off towards the direction of the departing female, who had crossed into another corridor.

* * *

How had she gotten here. It was supposed to be months not years.

A knock on the bathroom door, brought her back to the present.

"Leia?"

Rieekan.

"Yes?"

"Let me show you towards your quarters."

She sighed before splashing cold water on her face before exiting.

"Ready?"

Was she? Probably not. Too many years in the field and on her own to be back part of a group, to be around people.

So she lied, "Sure."


	4. Chapter 4

She didn't sleep the first night. The walls felt claustrophobic. The smell wasn't the same. The clicking of heels outside her door bothered her. Too much silence and too much noise all at once.

So in the wee hours of the morning, she set out for the hanger.

It was silent. No movement. No lifeforms.

It was like her former home. So she found a perch and she waited.

* * *

Hours later, perched high above it all. She watched. She surveyed the scene before her, looking for weaknesses, looking for a clue.

No one had noticed her perch. No one saw her high above it all. It would be the perfect way to foil any plans. She saw all the flaws. The lack of security. Didn't they see it too?

She could kill them all so very quickly.

She watched Rieekan come through the doors, searching. She watched his eyes search for something or someone, not satisfied with results.

She had a feeling that someone might be her.

"Up HERE!" she yelled.

Her voice echoed through the hanger. All eyes shot from their work to see her, high above it all, sitting on a metal hanger rafter.

"How the hell did you get up there?" another voiced boomed.

Her eyes went searching for the unknown voice, only to see her former lover, wiping grease off his hands.

Then to everyone's surprise, she jumped.

* * *

She heard the gasps and air whistle by her ears before she gracefully landed on the floor within three feet of her former lover.

Hazel met brown for the second time within 24 hours.

"Magic, Captain," was said before she started walking away.

"It's General."

She didn't turn, just waved her hand in the air.

Within seconds, she was in front of Rieekan.

"You were looking for me."

"Showing off were we?"

She laughed. "Showing off would be having a smoke gun go off and marking everyone in this room for dead."

"Leia…."

"What?"

"This isn't a backwater planet. This isn't a mission."

"No, this is a military organization waiting for a mole to find all it's weaknesses. To slaughter a whole unit or squadron," her voice was edgy and commanding.

The hanger hung in silence. They waited for a reprimand. For something. Anything.

"This isn't a time of war, Leia."

Her laughter was not melodic. It sounded dark and evil.

"If you don't think we are still at war, then General, you've forgotten all of my hard work keeping this organization safe from harm."

Her fingers balled into fists. Her stance was one of a fighter.

"You were taken away from that. And now you are here. You have no need to see this unit or any other as a risk to you or your life, Leia. I know…"

"You know nothing!" Her arms opened wide encompassing all those who watched the interaction. "All these people know nothing. That is why the Empire calls me the Ghost. I get in, I get the job done."

She stepped a foot closer. "And now you …. and whoever else knew what my job was, decided to pull me. Why I wonder?"

She stepped back. "Why after three years was I pulled? I had him right where I wanted the bastard! I FUCKING HAD HIM!"

"LEIA AMIDALA ORGANA!"

Her eyebrows rose at the mention of her full name. No one had done that in years, even a decade.

Rieekan's finger pointed right at her. "You will not do that again. You know why you were pulled."

"You're making a mistake."

"Maybe we are. And maybe you needed a break."


	5. Chapter 5

To the new readers, Hallo! To the old readers, hello again! May I interest you in a new chapter? ... I thought so. Enjoy!

* * *

The hanger buzzed with news of the gossip of days past. The Princess was back. And maybe just maybe, she turned assassin.

There was no hard proof. But the words spoken pointed in that direction.

They had heard of the Ghost. It had wiped out an entire Empire garrison on the Outer Rim. It had stormed a Star Destroyer and survived.

But now days after the incident, they had no new news. The Princess had been given a corner office in the hanger. And she no longer sat perched on the highest of rafters.

In general, she avoided everyone and everything. Maybe nodding her head, but no eye contact, no spoken words.

She moved like a ghost.

* * *

It was early. But the music was loud. Noticeable to anyone walking by, even 500 feet away, you could hear the drums, the guitar.

It droned out the sound of a machine, of the person sprinting on it.

The scars, the marks, open wounds were on display for anyone walking by.

 _"I've got blood, I've got blood_

 _blood on my name"_

The arms swung back and forth, determined. It was if the person was actually running from something or someone, despite the four walls surrounding them.

 _"When the fires, when the fires have surrounded you_

 _and the whole wide world coming after you"_

* * *

She entered the mess hall covered in sweat. It dripped from her. But there was blood too. She looked like she had survived a fire fight and it was only 7 a.m.

She didn't make eye contact. She took a glass of water and ration bar and made her way to the back corner.

A corner that she had started to claim as her own.

No one ate with her. No one really spoke to her.

Whatever friendships she had made during Endor were gone. She was an enigma to them.

But today, today someone sat a tray in front of her.

Her head glanced up from the table and from her thoughts to see her former lover. She shook her head. "Can I help you, Captain?"

"Again, I'm a General."

She shrugged before taking another bite of her rations bar.

He stirred a fork into the food. "The food is better than Hoth, probably better than that ration bar you are eating."

"My health, General, is none of your concern."

"Just saying you could…."

"What do you want, Han?"

"Thought you could use some company."

She laughed.

"That's probably the last thing I need."

"You've been underground too long."

Anger started to rise in her eyes and her hands clenched.

"Apparently, not long enough because you're still here."

She rose from the table with every intent on leaving.

"Oh, ouch," he said putting his hand over his heart. "Don't you remember why I joined, sweetheart?"

"I'm not your sweetheart."

"Didn't answer my question."

With her standing, he could see the scars. The marks that hadn't seen medical care at all. She looked like a survivor of multiple interrogations. The needle marks, the lines, they all pointed towards a dark place.

"And I don't plan to."


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to DarkLeia for help on this one! ;)

* * *

The halls were empty as she made her way back to her quarters. But she wasn't alone. She heard the footsteps following her. He maybe hanging back, but she knew when she was being followed.

She wouldn't be good at her job if she didn't know.

"I thought I made myself clear in the mess hall," she called back.

She didn't turn, but the footsteps stopped.

"And I thought I made it clear that I wanted to discuss it."

She shook her head before palming herself into her room. She stood in the middle, knowing he would enter without asking. Arms crossed waiting for his presence to saunter back into her life.

And he did.

"So ….. Discuss," she said as she waved her hand in the air.

"Where the hell were you?"

"Classified. You don't need to know."

"Class-? You don't think I needed to know you were leaving and not dead?"

"Did I say that…."

"No, but you didn't deny it either."

She shrugged. "It was easier that way. Cleaner. You could move on."

"Easier for who? You?" He said, his finger pointing to her.

Brown met hazel. The air crackled like it always did. Was it anger? Or lust? Or love?

"Why are you still here?"

"Because I wanted to be here if they ever found you. I wanted the answer."

"To what?"

"To whether or not you were dead or alive."

He stepped towards her and she stepped back.

"You've gotten your answer."

"That's it?"

Eyes bore into each other. It was becoming a battle of wills. Who would break first? She crossed her arms over her chest. He nodded his head.

"Why did you come to Tatooine then? Why save me if you were going to be like this? If you were going to run away?"

She shook her head.

"Why?!" His voice elevated, echoing in the small room.

"Because at the time, I didn't know my true father, who or what he was. He was just a blur. Then Luke told me he saved our father. A father who tortured you, tortured me and destroyed my world." She paused, looking straight at him. "I saw the look in your eyes when you found out. It was disgust. How could I stay?"

"Because I'd do anything for you."

He stepped towards her, again and she side-stepped him. "Because I loved you. Because I love you."

"Love can't fix this."

"You didn't even let me try to fix it. You left the celebration. You left me."

"I protected you!" The air crackled between them.

"From what?!" She shook her head. He stepped towards her and she held up her hand trying to stop him. "From what?" He said softer.

Her eyes darker than before met his. "You should go."

"Leia…"

She nodded towards the door. "You should go."

He stepped back, realizing her hand was at her waist belt. Pushing her wasn't working. She'd probably kill him first with whatever she had hidden in her belt first before admitting defeat. His eyes met hers though before he left.

"This isn't over, Your Worship."


	7. Chapter 7

Her days became a pattern. Run, silent breakfast with Han, work. Maybe another run. Then she hole up in her room. She didn't dare enter the base bar. She barely showed up for dinner.

The silent breakfast with her former lover was always the test of the day. Could she go ten minutes ignoring him, ignoring his eyes on her, or his tales of the day. Sometimes she would just nod or make a small murmur, but most days she was silent. Most days she wasn't even paying attention to his words.

No, she was paying attention to the people around him. Noticing, who sat alone, who sat together, who watched who. She was told not to, but it had been her job to stop the dying strongholds of the Empire and she knew they still had one last card to play. She knew it her blood. In her gut. There was one last card and she had to find it before it showed.

* * *

She didn't knock. She didn't hesitate like most others. She barged right in. Not caring who saw.

"You've got a mole."

Heads spun up from papers.

"Leia…."

"I'm serious, Rieekan."

"There isn't a mole."

"There is!" She enforced, hitting her hip with her fist.

"I told you…"

"I know. But it came to me at breakfast."

Another voice intervened. "I was with you at breakfast."

"That's not really the point here. Look, I know I'm on ice over the last incident…"

"The one where you got captured…." Rieekan started.

"Last time I checked, no one cared what I did until that happened."

"Leia, I suggest you drop it. Whatever you are dreaming up, isn't going to happen. You are out of the field indefinitely."

"Kreth's sake, I didn't break. I didn't give away the big secret. The man almost raped me, for fuck's sake, if anyone should be pissed, it should be me."

"He what?" Han said.

She mentally cursed herself. That hadn't been told in her briefing, though she supposed that the group assumed. Now she had validated it in front of the one person, she didn't want to tell it to. So she ignored it.

"You wanted me to break down the walls of the Empire from within, I did it. And I'm starting to wonder if they didn't learn my tricks."

Rieekan sighed. "We can't go on hunches, Leia."

"But it makes sense…"

"Until you have hard proof this topic is closed. Now if you excuse me, we have work to do."

She looked to the papers in front of them. Intel. Her intel. Her maps. Her reports.

"What are you planning? Are you giving this asshole, my mission?"

"Your mission is over."

She looked back at the papers. The Imperial garrison in the Outer Rim, the last place she had been held. Where she had been beaten, tortured ... It was all hers. And she was beginning to see red.

Without thought, she grabbed the knife from her belt and stuck it into the middle of the flimsies, destroying most of them.

"Good luck then."

* * *

The sweat ran down her brow. Betrayed. She had been betrayed. Her work. All of it handed over to that… that…

She couldn't come up with a word. She was too livid.

Three years of her work. Of her life. She punched the air.

 _"She was a princess, she could've been a queen_

 _She had the angels beneath her broken wings_

 _She had the vision, she had the sight_

 _She wants perfection, she wants it right"_

She saw the door open to her right. She leapt from her machine towards the back wall, holding a knife in her hand.

 _"He lives in darkness, there is no progress_

 _He knows the demons, they lie within him_

 _He has no vision, he has no sight_

 _He hates perfection, it wasn't right!..."_


	8. Chapter 8

The music clicked off. She held the knife semi-steady in her hand. She saw smoke. She felt it grip her. Take her under. She was no longer safe. She held onto the knife like it was a lifeline. She didn't take her eyes of the shadow.

"Sweetheart…."

Her eyes slowly unclouded to see Han at the other end of the room. The knife dropped from her hand, clanking on the floor. Then she herself dropped to the ground and started dry heaving.

The memories they came flooding back. She had been in her house…

"It's ok, sweetheart. I'm here."

She felt his hand on her back, as he withdrew the knife from in front of her. And before she could protest, he had her in his arms.

Minutes went by, her shaky breath became even. But her head still laid on his chest.

"I'm fine."

"Uhhuh."

He didn't move. He didn't loosen his hold.

"Really, I'm fine."

"That's why you were about to kill me 10 minutes ago?"

She sighed and pressed against his strong chest. "Han…"

"Why don't you come to my quarters?"

"What?!"

"You can get cleaned up. I'll make you dinner."

She looked at him suspiciously, as his arms held her within arm's length.

"I don't think…"

"It's the perfect idea." And before she could protest any more he had her up and in his arms off the ground.

* * *

He palmed open the door without putting her down.

"Really, I can walk."

And as soon as she said, he gently put her down on his carpet. His quarters were spacious. A kitchen, a separate bedroom. Double the size of hers.

"So this is where Generals live?"

He chuckled. "I pay for this out of my own pocket."

She moved towards the living room. Her hand sweeping across the couch. It was homey. It reminded her of the Falcon. "Really, I should go."

"Do you want a shower?"

"Han….."

He stepped towards her. "You had a flashback, Leia. I opened that door and you grabbed the knife and if I had gone mute, you would have killed me. So you can either talk about it or you can shower?"

He held her gaze steadily, unflinching. She protested again. "General…"

"Those are your choices."

He didn't back down. He had the other day and now. After her intrusion earlier and the episode in the gym, he wasn't letting her go. Whatever happened to her had to be vented. Whatever the Alliance had allowed to happen needed to be aired out.

She closed her eyes. Her shoulders slumping. "I'll need clothes."

* * *

The hot shower felt good against her skin. Why did it have to be him to walk through the door? And why had she predicted the worse?

Her head slumped to the wall. She was falling apart and she couldn't. Not now. She had held it in for so long.


	9. Chapter 9

She walked back into the living room dressed in one of his dress shirts. It hung down to her knees. It felt too familiar. It made them seem more than what they currently were.

He hadn't heard her come in. She was too light afoot. But it allowed her to watch him.

He hadn't changed much. His hair was cropped tighter but he was still tall and lean. She could still pick him out of a line-up or crowd.

He had rolled up his sleeves to cook and kicked off his shoes. He looked relaxed and at home.

She cleared her throat. He swiftly, yet casually enough turned to see her.

He wanted to whistle. He wanted to pick her up and kiss her senseless. But he did none of those things. He just let his gaze graze over her. "Beautiful, as always, Princess."

Her cheeks reddened and she shook her head.

It took all his strength not to envelope her in an embrace. It felt so natural to do so, despite their current predicaments.

"Wine?" He asked.

"I shouldn't."

He poured her a glass anyways. She looked at it and to him. "Why are you doing this?"

"You need a friend."

She arched her eyebrow. She didn't move towards the glass.

"You need someone to trust."

She still didn't move and his patience was wearing thin. "Dammit, Leia, do I have to have a motive?"

She didn't flinch at his outburst. She stood still.

"You have moved around this base for over a week like some ghost. You interact with no one. I don't even know what job they gave you. I read the report. Your statement, Leia, it's OK to breakdown."

"I'm fine."

He took two strides and was in front of her holding her shoulders. "You are not fine. Maybe you can lie to yourself. But you never were good at lying to me."

Her eyes peered into his. She started internally screaming. Why, why, why?! She punched him in the chest.

"You don't know. You have no idea!" Her fists began pounding on his chest. "You don't know!"

He crushed her to him, but with all her strength she pushed him way, sending him back a few feet.

"You and Rieekan think you have me figured out. You both think I need a break. But the Empire has one last card. One last play. And in my last years I haven't found it or figured it out."

He stepped towards her again. "Then let us help."

Her gaze locked with his. "What?"

"Let us help."

"No."

"You don't get to be a martyr, sweetheart."

"I never said…."

"You've implied it too many times not to think it."

"And what about you?"

He shook his head. "What about me?"

"You still want to be my savior. I don't need saving."

"Maybe," he stepped forward enough to be in her space. "Maybe not. But you did destroy reports today…"

She moved her arm to slap him and he grasped her wrist in her hands.

Her mind was racing, how had she? How had he?

And before she knew it his mouth was on hers. The kiss was anything but innocent. It was chaste and demanding. His hands went to her waist and pulled her against him. She felt him rock hard against her stomach. How had they gone from verbally sparring to this?

He felt him grind against her and she moaned. It had been three years of being celibate and now her body was on fire. His mouth on her neck. "You need saving."

She moved her lower leg to knee him and he moved against her pinning her to the counter. "No, I don't."

His tongue swirled around her ear, his breath hot against it. She rubbed her hips against his, she couldn't stop herself. Her body was betraying her.

He yanked opened her shirt, buttons skidding across surfaces, and his mouth went to a nipple. That's when she lost all thought and control.

Her hands mimicked his previous actions, unbuttoning his shirt. Her hands slipping into caress his muscular chest. He groaned against her breast. Her hand went to his buckle of his blaster rig before unhooking his pants.

He pulled away then, remembering her previous words from the meeting. Her hand went to caress him through his boxers. He groaned again as he took her hand in his and rested his forehead against hers. "Leia… we… I'm..."

Hazel met brown. How could he apologize? He had almost forced himself upon her.

And at the same time, she was wondering what she had done. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh, sweetheart." He enveloped her in the tightest embrace. And then she remembered the early confrontation.

"He didn't get that far." He held her tighter. "Han, I'm serious."

He kissed her forehead, before looking back into her eyes.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Leia…"

"You know why I don't talk to people? So they don't give me that look."

Her hands went to closing the shirt before hopping off the counter.

"Almost is enough, Leia."

"Almost allowed him to cop a feel and that's about it because I quickly turned to tables and had his gun in my hands. The only regret I have is not shooting him between the eyes."


	10. Chapter 10

I'm back! And I'm trying to finish this one!

* * *

She avoided him for days. She didn't run. She ate what she could sneak out of the mess hall.

He came knocking on her door and she didn't answer.

He had saved her before. Brought her back from the brink. Brought her back to herself. She had lost everything and he made her realize she had more.

Now after three years, she didn't know what she had. She hadn't faced the truth about her biological father. She had ran. She had seen the disgust on his face as a reason to cut and run.

The day after the battle and celebration, she had asked for an undercover assignment. Rieekan questioned her. He said she was needed in rebuilding. She could be a state official again. She had told him, she didn't want to be. She wanted to fight the last pillars of the Empire, the farthest away.

He hadn't understood why then. But he got it now.

* * *

"Today, we are going to test this unit to see if it can infilatrate an Imperial building," Rieekan began.

She stood against the wall. This impentrable being. All eyes on her.

She watched him motion to her. "She is your target."

"Her, sir?" a younger member asked.

"Yes. Leia has been in and out of Imperial buildings for several years now all by herself," he confirmed. "Solo will take his team of 10 and try and take the room next door to us. Again, your target is Leia."

She stood straighter. This was her test, too.

"And while it does seem easy gentleman, there are going to be some obstacles. It will be pitch black in that room and contain smoke from a smoke grenade."

She smirked. They thought it would be easy, she knew she'd win. It was too simple.

* * *

She watched from the two way mirror with Rieekan. Han and his team were prepping for the test run.

"You have everything ready?" Rieekan asked.

"Yup."

"You sure this is going to work?"

"Nope. But it's my last card."

* * *

The room was pitch black, full of smoke and quiet.

But if you listened, you could hear everything.

And if you were trained, you could take out an elite team in the matter of seconds without a sound.

* * *

A red glow illuminated from the center of the room. And a muffled groan was all that heard.

"Lights!" a voice screamed.

"Leia, it's been sixty seconds," a voice rang out of the speaks.

"Well, my job is done."

The lights flickered, generating back to life.

And there she stood in the middle of the room with a knife to Han Solo's neck and a red lightsaber in the other.

"Looks like they failed, Rieekan," she stated, not loosening her grip on the General.

"Very well, let General Solo go and let's try again."

"I don't think I can do that, sir," as she kept her grip on the sharp blade.

"Leia, let General Solo go," Rieekan demanded over the speakers.

The soldiers around her tried reaching for weapons but found none to train on her. They were all missing.

"I told you, you had a mole in your ranks," she said with a laugh, staring straight at the two-way mirror. Solo tried to get out of her grip. "It would be best Captain, if you didn't move, or you might get a more deadly scar than the one on your chin," she chided.

"What do you want?"

"Just the General and his ship and I think we will be on our way, we have a meeting that we have to be punctual to."

She pushed the knife enough to make him back up with her. He tried jerking again. "This is a rather sharp knife, I've let people bleed out before," she threatened again.

She backed out of the door into the hallway before throwing the lock, capturing his team in the room.

"Alright, let's go," she commanded.


End file.
